Thinking Out Words

(If nothing else this post deserves the title of my blog)

I often wonder what would happen if I let my thoughts come forth untranslated.
To speak the words in my heart sheltered from unknowing.
It is the unknowing that hurts the worst, sometimes my words slip, fly and sing in the open air,
and crash, bruised and raw, shuddering against the ears of the unknowing.


Ah, but what a secret I could tell them, what a story they would hear! If I was stronger, whole-er, harder... break their walls and gain their ear?
But my words would be forgotten in that strength that hardness sought, I would loose the joy of flying if my words I wove like rock.
Better yet to speak my words and let their hardness rub me raw, thought my strength is near to breaking, better than to not at all.
Better yet and this I know, the strength I have is not my own and on this strength I spread my wings, my heart and soul in words I fling like flowers or jewels they come to rest, my heart, their hearts I know I've blessed.


Sometimes perhaps I work to hard, wanting the unknowing to known. Wanting the heart to be known.

The power in the words I think, the words of a fairy tale, the words of a princess, the words of a minstrel, a poet, a wanderer,
the words of someone whose eyes are old, whose laughter knows both the joy of the spring flower bursting forth and the loneliness of the mountain wind, the joy of friendship made and the sorrow at death parted,
the words of someone who loves words, loves the sound of them, loves their changing meaning and the skill, challenge of making words echo thoughts, echo feelings.

But my words are not their words, they speak a language dead, their words are empty, thick, lifeless, strict of form, devoid of meaning. how can I let my words wander lose to clash with theirs? The beauty of the music mixed with the jarring sounds their language makes?
And then to be laughed at, scorned, because they do not understand the music of my words?
But my words have power, and their words are empty, yet I fear them? Let this not be so!

Music is for wholeness hearing, beauty is for heart healing, singing is for beauty showing, loving is for heart knowing.

So my heart with words I speak, my mouth with words I echo not the words that are around me, but speaking power from my heart.